What It's Like To Be Me

Today I used the upright vacuum and an attachment to suck the crumbs out of the bottom of our toaster oven.

Barry and I have talked a lot about getting a dog recently, but the idea of dog hair everywhere freaks me out.  A few friends have suggested that we get a Roomba, which has led me to ask, "Where would we store it?"  All of them have answered the same thing, "Under the bed."  Let me make this clear, friends.  I am not a person who stores anything under a bed.  Or under a chair.  Or under any other piece of furniture.

Speaking of not storing under things, I don't store over things, either.  I couldn't store something on top of the refrigerator if my life depended on it.

I also can't keep things in the car (with the exception of emergency equipment in the trunk, like jumper cables, a blanket, and a jug of water).  If something is in the car, it means I'm in the process of taking it somewhere where it will be left.

The other evening, I started dozing off while I was still dressed in the clothes I'd worn that day.  I was exhausted, so I asked Barry to take my shoes and socks off for me while I laid there with my eyes closed.  He took off my shoes and started taking off my socks the way he takes off his own - peeling them down from the top, over the ankle and heel and down to the toes, turning them inside out as he goes.  My eyes immediately popped open and I said, "Pull from the toe so they don't get turned inside out."  He jokingly replied, "Man, it must be hard to be you."  My answer?  "Not when I take my socks out of the dryer and they're right side out.  That makes it so easy to be me."

No judgement if you have a crumby toaster oven, store things in every nook and cranny possible, or turn your socks inside out when you take them off... just don't ask me to.  It's not that I want to be this way (or that I don't want to, for that matter).  I just am.

Now for a random photo:
 Unicorn graffiti... what's up, Portland?


Peter said...

You're both doing the socks wrong. Top peel turns them inside out, but toe pull stretches them out. Proper method is thumbs in the hem on each side of the leg and push down. What's up, Portland, indeed!

Mom said...

Don't get a dog! It's not fair to an animal when you both work all day, like to get out on your days off and occasionally are out of town! To keep a dog in a cage all day is cruel.

On the subject of socks, I am in your corner. Years ago I told Dad the way they come down the clothes chute (just have the hamper now) is the way they will be washed, dried and mated.

The toaster oven is on top of the fridge, suppose I could put it in the pantry on the shelf. Nothing is now under the beds!

BUT, I do think you need to chill out a little, life is too short!

Love, Mom

Mom said...

Suzy, just had another thought re:dog. Do you have a "Rescue Village" or similar organization like we have here? They LOVE to have volunteers that will walk the dogs, etc. No dog hair to contend with other than possibly on your clothes! Love, Mom

Connie said...

No wonder all the pictures of your house look so nice, you don't cram & store things in the extra space. Whatever makes you happy.

Maryanne said...

Tony read this and said he married the wrong Lutjen sister. Apparently I store under, over and in between. Peter, instead of putting thumbs on each side, you only put one thumb in the back of the sock so that way you can take off both at the same time. Gives you more time to think about where to store things.

Marissa said...

I would never take my socks off like Barry either! Although, I'm a freak about socks. I hate wearing things on my feet unless they fit perfectly. Ha!

We part ways when it comes to storage though. You would probably have an anxiety attack if you saw the storage situation at our house. Items on top of items on top of items! And items underneath items. I purged too....we have no storage, sigh...

Listen to you mom...BUT...better a dog inside and by himself sometimes and loved than in a shelter, right?! Or get 2 dogs, so that they're together when you and Barry are out and about!

Lesley Todd said...

I am curious... where do you put all your stuff? And what happens when new things come into the house? Do you have a one in, one out policy? Just asking because I would love to be more organised. Our house is tiny and has hardly any storage.

Scintilla said...

i am glad i found my way back to your blog tonight. i love the way you write, you are hilarious! i wish i was more like you, truth be told!'xo